When you get together with a group of friends that you haven’t seen for awhile, what are some of the first conversations that you hear? Do you size each other up, comment on how great Suzie looks because she’s lost weight, and how “well” Jane looks? (by that you mean – hasn’t she gained a few pounds?). Do you all look at the menu and discuss your latest diet or exercise program? Do you justify having the bread because you have been “so good” this last week? Do you choose your meal based on the number of carbs’ or talk about how naughty you all are for having cake or wine or……
The reality is that in our society, especially women, we engage in ‘fat talk’. It holds us back from truly experiencing ourselves as valuable beautiful individuals regardless of our shape or size. Every time we feel self-conscious, or say I shouldn’t eat that, or wear that, we contribute to our feeling of disconnection from ourselves and our body, not to mention each other. Each time when you look in the mirror and say YUK! Or when you comment ‘Oh I should lose 10lb’, or ‘I’m so fat’…. we model this poor behaviour to other women and more alarmingly to our gorgeous young women, our daughters! It says “I am not acceptable as I am”.
Is fat talk keeping you from experiencing the outrageously healthy life you deserve to live?
If it remains someone else’s fault that we are over weight, then we can’t do a darn thing about it because the blame always rests with them. The quality of our relationships in life are an outward reflection of how we feel about ourselves. If we feel good about ourselves, and have a healthy self-love, then we will encourage and reflect the same outwardly. When you love and accept yourself, then you want to nourish and care for yourself.
And, of course, the opposite also applies: unhealthy feelings about yourself equals unhealthy relationships. Learning to love and accept yourself and your unique vehicle for this journey sets you free to stop worrying about what others think. When you don’t like yourself, you don’t care if you abuse yourself. You use food to “comfort” you. This abuse is a kind of “punishment” for not being acceptable. And the vicious cycle continues. You don’t like yourself because you are “fat” and you are “fat” because you don’t like yourself.
All of the relationships we have in life begin with the relationship we have with ourselves! One of the best ways to get on track with our own self is to stop blaming, and start owning our own stuff. If we can own it, we can change it. In accepting responsibility for who I am; understanding that I make the choices, then I can be anything I choose to be if I am willing to “be” whom I need to be. Sounds funny doesn’t it? Ask yourself, who am I “being” right now? You may get an amazing answer!
Yvonne
